take a look in the past and don’t flinch, you are you now, not what you were then.

What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

Starting Point. I’d have to say that was the one experience that changed my life completely. It wasn’t just a second, a moment in time that changed my life, it was 3 months. 3 months of new experiences rolled into 1 changed my life; Starting Point was literally my Starting Point.

I was a quiet shy, on occasion depressed little girl. To me, I felt like I was trying to solve my families problems all at once. I wanted to be needed; I wanted to belong. But doesn’t everyone feel like they need to belong? Is it right to say that? It should, because we’re human beings.

I was a spoiled brat, but back then I didn’t even know what that meant until later on; I never tried to be spoiled, to be quite honest with myself I hated the fact that the personality I shown towards my family was an utter disappointment in my eyes. But I loved my little sister; being a big sister to her was slowly opening my eyes to the fact I needed to grow up and at least try to be a good example. But that never works, since our personalities seem to go together like peas in a pod; we had our differences of course, like all siblings do. But we always seemed to get into some kind of trouble, and then whine our way out of it.

I don’t exactly know when that stopped for me though; when I realized I shouldn’t be whining about something that was my fault in the first place.

When school started I was just quiet, I didn’t really talk to anyone; and because of my size and the way I looked, I started to get teased a lot in school; I didn’t exactly know the main reason why. I never had any real friends, no one stood up for me; not even the teacher while it happened in class. In grade 3, was when it stopped some what, I had made what I thought was a friend, and then they got teased for being around me. So she told me to come with her to the principals office and tell them what was going on for the past few years; and just like that, the problem was somewhat solved. Mr. Adams, who was the vice principal at the time got the main kids that promoted teasing me as it were. He got them to apologize right then and there. He told me I could leave while he had a good talking with them. I could hear him dig into them about bullying people as I left. I went back and sat in class, a few minutes later, Mr Adams comes in with the boys and has a talk about everyone bullying me with my teacher at the time.

She sat in the front of the class, me not knowing what was going to happen next, looked down. She told everyone that she had NOTICED everyone bullying me, and that when they had found the time; they should apologize to me. I was slightly dumbfounded. She knew? If she knew that whole time, wasn’t she supposed to do something? We were in third grade and she just let it happen?

She gave us some work to do, and the classroom went right quiet for awhile, until some of us had to get up and sharpen pencils and borrow others paper and what have you.

What really surprised me about that whole day. The whole entire day. One of the kids, who really didn’t tease me and bully me a lot, came up to me and apologized.  He apologized for hurting my feelings and making fun of me. I couldn’t do much but nod and say thanks.

I could not believe it. This memory still haunts my mind even now. It was like he was trying to apologize for everyone for what they did. (Although when I look at it now, it may not seem much, but being how old I was; it hurt a lot.) Not knowing what it meant then like I do now; I felt a spark of hope for human beings such as myself. Maybe there was good people out there.

I’m gonna skip to the next couple years, I don’t quiet feel comfortable telling you what happened in between that time. Way too personal.

In grade 5 is when I made my first real friend. Her name was Amanda, or Mandy as she seems to prefer now. ahaha, and in grade 6 & 7 I met my friend Molly, or as he can be officially called now; Ollie or Oliver. 🙂 and in grade 7 I met my third best friend Devynn Roblee. Although me and her had met previously because our younger siblings had a skiff over a game. I didn’t think we knew that we were going to best friends for well; the rest of our lives. I certainly wasn’t expecting it because I thought having friends was just a myth.

But again I was proven wrong, sooner rather than later; Oliver, Mandy, Devynn and I were close friends; and when high school started, I made some new and old friends. Like Clarrissa, I had met her in camp previously and in a sense we became new friends.

My family problems seemed to grow bigger and bigger. Threatening to engulf me. I soon told someone, and they brought in a counselor every other day to come talk to me. Soon the problem seemed to solve itself.

It was around grade 12 that I realized that I was just trying to ignore it, and then it came back and slapped me in the face. I was dating my fiance who was my boyfriend (obviously) at the time.  It got so bad that I left school completely. I left home after my father was forced to live somewhere else.

I was extremely grateful to Jessie and his grandmother, who let me live with them. Then me and Jessie moved to Pictou, after some drama that I really don’t want to think about, otherwise I’ll just start seeing red. A couple months later me and my sister intended to move in together. That didn’t work, so I moved back in with Jessie who moved back into New Glasgow to find work. After I turned nineteen, I applied to welfare with Jessie and became common law, I hope that’s how you say it. Then we moved to a bigger place, and then since finding work was such a pain in the ass, and I had no idea how to do such a thing. I was sent for an interview with Starting Point.

Now like always, I was extremely nervous, barely said anything. Did the interview, went home and waited. A couple of days later, I got a call that told me if I was interested in being in the next Starting Point Program. I said yes, not really know what I was getting into.

What I experienced there will not all be on this blog post, because of the oath and promise we all made to whatever was said in the circle of women, to stay in that circle of women; and that is where it shall stay.

But I can say this. That program changed me to the point, I almost didn’t recognize myself. It made me see what kind of person I am, how I learn, what I can do about just about anything. It made me strong and more independent. Although there is still so much I want to learn, that program gave me more confidence than I know what to do with. Not enough to be cocky though. At least I hope not. ha ha.

That was my Starting Point. I’m more me than I ever have been, and I don’t have to be ashamed to be who I am anymore, because that is my normal. My way of doing things. Never doubt yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to, if you believe it.

 

-The Ginchu. :3

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